Grace Is Gone
by paranoid
Summary: "I could never love again, so much as I love you..." When Draco and whiskey mix, memories are sure to follow...


("Grace Is Gone" and it's lyrics are property of Dave Matthews Band and copyrighted 2002 by Colden Grey Ltd. Draco and Ginny are property of J.K. Rowling and neither the song, nor the characters, are used with their permission. I'm not getting any money from this, and if you really want to sue me, go ahead because all you're gonna get is my ratty, old shoes and my really cool shoe laces.) 

Hello my faithful/faithless readers! This is just a little D/G blurb that I got inspired for while listening to Dave Matthews Band's CD "Busted Stuff." Gotta love that band... but, outside of my blatant promotion for these guys, this story isn't a happy story. It's actually quite a depressing one, that I'm quite proud of. And, I will admit it, this is a song fic... *hangs head in shame* BUT IT'S A GOOD ONE, I PROMISE!!! 

And, without further ado, here is... 

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+ 

Grace Is Gone 

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-- Neon shines through smokey eyes tonight -- 

-- It's 2 am; I'm drunk again it's heavy on my mind -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Draco closed his eyes and took another swig of whiskey. The liquor burned down his throat, settling in his stomach to add onto the ache that hadn't been dulled by an evening's drinking. Taking the half-empty bottle from his lips, he exhaled into the quite of his two-bedroom apartment. A twinge of pain radiated from his chest at the thought. 

_She used to be here._

"Fuck." Draco took another swig out of the bottle. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- I could never love again so much as I love you -- 

-- Where you end where I begin is like a river going through -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

It was stupid. He knew it then and, damn, did he know it now. They'd been talking over dinner, quietly enjoying each others company when she'd brought it up. 

"Draco, what are we going to do about our families?" She looked up from her pasta and started into his eyes. 

"What do you mean? There's nothing that we need to do." He took another bite, feeling her eyes glaring at him. 

"You know as well as I do that that's complete bull shit. If my brothers found out about us, they'd run you over with a car, beat you to death with a tire iron, then pour gasoline over your body and light it. Fred and George would probably add some fireworks in for style. And if your father knew that we were _living_ together? He'd go on a rampage!" She set her fork down, frowning. "I don't like having to pretend that I don't love you." 

He looked up at her, his eyes smiling. 

"What did you say?" 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- Take my eyes take my heart I need them no more -- 

-- If never again they fall apon the one I so adore -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

"I love you, Draco. You know that." She looked slightly hurt. 

"Its... its just that I'm not used to it, okay?" 

"Draco... I, it's just... Sometimes it's so hard. I want to let everyone know, to shout it from the rooftops, but I know that if I do, you're going to get hurt. And I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt." She looked away from him, at her food, then glanced back up at his face. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- Excuse me please one more drink -- 

-- Could you make it strong cause I don't need to think -- 

-- She broke my heart my Grace is gone -- 

-- One more drink and I'll move on -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Draco smiled at the memory. That's where it had begun, that first time it'd come up. 

It was no hidden fact that the Malfoy's and the Weasley's weren't on the best of terms, and their relationship was sometimes strained because of it. He'd never had too much of a problem with it; as long as they were in the dark, he could be with her without fearing for her safety. If he'd only known how big of a deal it was to her... 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- One drink to remember then another to forget -- 

-- How could I ever dream to find sweet love like you again -- 

-- One drink to remember then another to forget -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

"We need to talk." She sat down on the couch, looking at him as he hung his coat in the small closet at the front of their apartment. 

"About what, Gin?" He sat down next to her, facing her. She bowed her head, looking at her fingers as they nervously fidgeted with her nails. 

"It's about us. We, I mean... I need to tell someone." She looked up, then back down quickly. "I can't keep up the façade anymore." The room was quiet. 

"Ginny, we've talked about this before." He was slightly annoyed. 

"Draco, if you aren't willing to let people know about us, I don't know if I want to stay with you. I feel, god, I feel like your embarrassed because of me." She blushed slightly. 

"You know how I feel about you." He was shocked and insulted. She stopped fidgeting and looked him straight in the eye, her's blazing with anger and doubts. 

"That's just it, I _don't_ know how you feel about me. You've never said the words, Draco. Not once, and we've been dating for almost a year, and living together for five month's now. I need to know if I mean enough to you that you're willing to risk letting my family, and yours, know." She glared at him, her eye's pleading with him to just say it. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- Excuse me please one more drink -- 

-- Could you make it strong cause I don't need to think -- 

-- She broke my heart my Grace is gone -- 

-- One more drink and I'll move on -- 

-- One more drink and I'll be gone -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

"So now you don't think I care for you? How long have you had doubts, Gin? Were they always there, or did they just appear out of nowhere? Huh?" He was hurt, lashing out and stood up. 

"I have reason to have doubts! I barley know you at Hogwarts, and then we have a week of detentions and you're asking me out! And then, you just leave for four years! I didn't know what to think then and I don't know if you're going to do it again!" She rose to meet his angry glare. 

"That was in the past. I thought you believed in me when I told you I had no choice. I didn't lie to you, Ginny." He angrily ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to leave again." 

"I don't know that!" Her voice was a choked sob, wrenched from her heart. "And if you're not willing to tell my family, then I'm not going to stay with you." Her eyes shone with unshed tears. 

He wanted to run over, to hold her to his chest and soothe away her unwarranted fears, but his pride got in the way. He walked over to the closet, tore the door open and grabbed his coat. 

"I'm going to go for a walk to cool down, and when I get back, you and I are going to have a civilized conversation about this." He jammed his arms through the sleeves of the coat, then angrily opened the door and closed it behind him, the slam reverberating through the apartment and starting a torrent of tears from the lone occupant. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- You think of things impossible -- 

-- And the sun refuse to shine -- 

-- I woke with you beside me -- 

-- Your cold hand lay in mine -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

He knew it had been stupid to run away, but he was so... mad, and hurt, and confused by what she'd said to him. Didn't know how he felt? Didn't he show her in every way, all the time, how he felt for her? That she was everything to him, that if she stopped living, loving, and just being near him, he'd die? Draco hunched his shoulders, ignoring the light rain that had started five minutes after he'd left the apartment. He was heading back now, and he knew what he was going to do when he got home. He'd tell her how he felt, then they'd decide when they were going to tell her parents. 

He was across the street from the building, and looked up to see Ginny standing under the slight overhang that covered the buildings front steps. 

"Draco!" She yelled when she caught sight of him. He could see her eyes light up, and she started running towards him. The rain had started to pick up and her hair and clothes were sticking to her body. She looked quickly up and down the street, then ran towards him. 

"I'm sorry!" She yelled. "I'm so sorry!" 

She was halfway across the street, drenched to the bone, when Draco caught sight of the headlights out of the corner of his eye. The blare of a horn, the horrifying sound of brakes screeching, and Draco's life ended before his eyes. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- Excuse me please one more drink -- 

-- Could you make it strong cause I don't need to think -- 

-- She broke my heart my Grace is gone -- 

-- One more drink and I'll go -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

He took another swig out of the bottle, his memories vivid, clear, and all too real because of the liquor. The funeral had been today. He'd attended, standing in the back of the room as the minister spoke of her life. He'd waited for most of the family to leave, ignoring the stares at his haggard figure and glazed expression, before he'd gone to the casket. It was open, her beautiful face looking calm and serene, and like she was asleep. He stood over her body. 

"Gin," he whispered, his voice quiet and raspy," I'm so sorry. God, I didn't know that this would happen. And I never told you..." He took a breath, and his eyes filled with unshed tears. "I never told you that I love you. I'll always love you, there was no one else for me. I'm dead now, Gin. I don't know how I'm going to live without you, without knowing that when I wake up at night that you'll be asleep next to me." He bowed his head, his eyes closing against the site. "You were all I had, and now you're gone, and it's all my fault." His tears started falling onto her face, one after another. A sob came out of his chest and was ineffectually muffled. 

"I'm sorry, Gin. Goodbye." He bent over and kissed her lips, wanting them to suddenly come alive under his, to return the love that he felt. But all he tasted was the lipstick that the mortuary had put on when they'd made her up before the funeral. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- Excuse me please one more drink -- 

-- Could you make it strong cause I don't need to think -- 

-- She broke my heart my Grace is gone -- 

-- One more drink and I'll move on -- 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Draco nearly ran out of the funeral home, brushing past the rest of the Weasley family. 

"Malfoy?" Came the disbelieving voice of Ron. 

"Just leave me alone." Draco choked out, rushing past the incredulous brother who had the same eyes as the woman inside. 

And now, here he was, trying to drown his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. 

_And failing miserably._ He thought. No matter how hard he'd tried to forget, it seemed that wherever he looked, he saw something that reminded him of her. Their dinner from that last day was stilling sitting on the table, the sauce and pasta encrusted to the plates, but he couldn't wash the dishes. Her fork was the last thing to touch her lips, the last thing she'd held. Her wine glass, the liquid evaporated now, had a faint line of her lipstick. 

When he'd come home, he'd seen that and burst into tears, falling onto the couch in despair, then jumping off of it, remembering that that was where she'd last sat. Everywhere there was something of hers. He'd fallen to the floor and cried himself to sleep. 

When he woke, he'd moved into the bedroom, looking at her clothes that had been tossed into a pile to be washed. He fell to his knees next to the pile, then picked up her favorite sweater. Bringing it to his nose, he buried his face into it and inhaled. Her scent assaulted him, bringing a new wave of tears to his eyes. It was just too much. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- One more drink and I'll be gone -- 

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He was crying now. Tears ran down his face, pooling on his shirt, then sinking into the fabric. The bottle was forgotten as grief and agony rolled over him again. 

"I'm so sorry." He sobbed into his hands, aching to forget, yet begging to remember. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

-- One more drink, my Grace is gone -- 

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A/N: Okay, wow... Had myself crying there for sometime... *blows nose* Hope that you guys liked it, reviews would be welcomed with open arms and plates of fudge. *looks up at story* Dear Merlin, that got longer than I expected... I was afraid that it'd be too short and by the end of it, I nearly ran out of song 0_o Go figure... 

Don't exactly know where this little angst fest came from, but I like it... *blows nose again* 

To the Paranoid Cave! 

WHOOSH!!! *blows nose once more* 

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